THE CREEPIEST THING ON THE INTERNET…TODAY
Because of my interest in jurisprudence, I clicked on the Huffington Post article “Judge Rules ‘I Heart Boobies’ Bracelets Are OK for Students to Wear”. This is a big deal. But commenter Adam616 says:
Most disturbing part?
Big news: I’m recording my first comedy CD. Rooftop Comedy is releasing it. I’m recording six shows at the Laughing Skull Lounge in Atlanta from 4/28-5/1. You can buy tickets here and there’s a Facebook invite here. If you’re in Atlanta, come! If you have friends in Atlanta, tell them to come! Let’s make this a big deal!
The [taxes] are done, man!
R.I.P. Computer
I haven’t updated this week because my MacBook is dead. I mean, I hope it’s not dead. Maybe it’s just sleeping, like Grandpa. Mommy says Grandpa sleeps in a box made of wood because he loves cigars and wants to be just like them. We hid Grandpa’s box in the ground six feet deep so no one would steal him, like that one time I stole Grandpa’s cigar from Cuba. He made me smoke all of it as punishment and I threw up, which is when I discovered that I loved smoking cigars til I throw up.
Thanks Grandpa! I want to be just like you one day. Mommy says I will be if I keep smoking cigars in the house and throwing up on her rug. I can’t wait! She stuck my face in the throw-up as punishment, which is when I discovered the smell of throw-up makes me throw up more.
I’m posting this on Mommy’s laptop while she scrubs the rug with vinegar. Mommy says she and Daddy shouldn’t have had children. I don’t know who she’s referring to because I’m an adult. NOW BUY ME A NEW MACBOOK!!!
*YAAAAWN.* Where the hell is Atlanta comedian and Radiohead-giver Justin Morgan? I’ve been up since dawn and I’ve got to turn in this mechanized rubber chicken death-shooter to get my deposit back.
Commercial for Carmelo Anthony’s first game (as a Knick) at MSG.
Can grown men get any more moist about basketball?
(Source: danilogotgame, via nbaoffseason)
ooas:
Dear Andrew Wright, I challenge you to an arm wrestling match for your comments about “King Of Wishful Thinking” by Go West & Radiocabeza. Your assumption based on title and bizarre music video has angered me. Rubber chicken shooters at dawn. Ten paces and I may hear your last words. Fear not, the end is bright white light and Lionel Richie. Love, MorgiepantsMcfadden
I’m gonna spazz-dance on your grave, Justin Morgan! (And now Radiohead’s ripping off “Dancing on the Ceiling”? The hackery never ends.)
HUGE NEWS
I am no longer a loser who lives in my parents’ basement. I am now a loser who lives on my parents’ top floor.
Movin’ on up! But only in the physical sense!
Now that it’s all nice outside, I’m reminded of this pic I took a little while ago. Thank you, Frozen Glove I Found in A Parking Lot Last Month. You sum up this winter’s weather better than I ever could.
